The Fear You Won't Fall
by SerendipitousEncounters
Summary: Maxie Jones and Matt Hunter must live with their actions from the hospital crisis. A M&M story with some Jolu, Scrubs, and Spinifred
1. Chapter 1

**The Fear You Won't Fall**

**Note: This takes place a week after the Hospital Crisis**

**Chapter One:**

_What the hell were you thinking?_ Maxie Jones asked herself for the millionth time after she almost had sex with Johnny Zacharra. They agreed to just forget it ever happened, but it was virtually impossible. Every time she ran into Lulu in their apartment, or when she saw her at work, Maxie was reminded of her reckless behavior that night in the blizzard. And she was pretty sure Johnny was struggling with keeping yet another secret from Lulu. All this happened because she was afraid to tell Spinelli she only thought of him as a friend, her best friend. She knew she led him on, but it was the only way, in her mind, to keep him around. It was better for him see just how destructive she really was, so he could leave on his own, than to tell him she could never love him the way he loves her. Looking back it seems idiotic, but in the moment it all made perfect sense.

Maxie walked into the small coffee shop that was near the Crimson office. Sitting in the corner was Dr. Matt Hunter, his head was resting on both of his hands, and by the looks of it he hadn't shaved in several days. He appeared disoriented, she actually felt bad for the usually egocentric doctor. Robin had told her that he was having a hard time putting what happened at the hospital past him. She walked up to the counter to place her order.

"What can I get for you?" the barista asked her.

"I need a Grande Peppermint Latte with no whip, a Grande Cafe Latte, and a Grande Black Tea Latte," she replied.

"Your total comes to $13.21."

Maxie handed him her Crimson credit card. While she waited for her drinks she found herself watching Dr. Hunter. He was in a blank stare, like the world around him didn't exist. She could tell he wasn't himself, a week ago he was harassing her about turning him down, and now it looked as if life had drained out of him. Maxie grabbed the drink carrier holding the piping hot beverages and walked out the door.

When the elevator doors opened she could see that Johnny and Lulu were arguing.

"It wasn't like that, I was afraid that you would get hurt if I stayed with you. I changed my mind, I'm here now aren't I?" Johnny was reassuring her.

_Oh shit,_ was the only thing she could think before Lulu walked up to Maxie with a finger in her face.

"You!" Lulu scream, "I should have known I could never trust you."

"Lulu, I know you're upset, but if you just…" she was cut off by Lulu's tirade.

"Do you try to make a point of sleeping with _all_ of my boyfriends?" Lulu shouted.

Great, Maxie had tried to forget that little bet she made with Logan two summers ago. "Lulu, just calm down. It didn't mean anything." Maxie retorted as Lulu's eyes widened, "If you'd just listen…"

Lulu did not have her listening ears on today, because she interrupted Maxie again.

"Oh, I feel _so_ much better now that you were going to have meaningless sex with my boyfriend," sarcasm poured out of her mouth.

Maxie had just about all she could take, here she was trying to put out the flames and Johnny was just standing on the sidelines. She wanted to say, _You had it coming bitch! If you didn't look at everything through rose-colored glasses you'd see that you have put everyone up to impossibly high standards that they feel that they will never be able to live up to them. _Luckily the filter between her brain and mouth was working today and she refrained. Maxie went to say something but Lulu put her hand up.

"I've had enough. I can't stand even looking at you two right now," she said as she stomped to the elevator and got in once the doors opened.

Johnny slumped into the chair by Lulu's desk, "It's better this way," he muttered.

Maxie whipped around facing him, "Like hell it is!" she cried, "There is no way I am being blamed for the downfall of another one of Lulu's relationships. You need to follow her and beg for her forgiveness, grovel if you must."

"You don't think I tried that?" he asked sounding defeated.

"Then you are going to have to try harder," she walked behind his swivel chair and began pushing him to the elevator, her red high heels clicking against the hardwood floor. When the elevator doors opened she pushed him in, "And I don't want to see you again until you and Lulu have worked things out and it's safe to go back to my apartment."

The doors closed and Maxie took a deep breath. Still trying to process what actually just went down.

************

After a day like today she deserved a drink. Not only did Lulu blow up on her, but to make things worse Kate wasn't in a good mood, and decided to take all her pent up frustration on Maxie. She took off her coat and draped it on the back of her chair.

From behind the bar Coleman asked, "So what will it be, Ms. Jones?"

"I'll take the strongest drink you have," she responded.

"Bad day?"

"You really have no idea," she responded.

"What, did someone commit a heinous fashion crime?" someone scoffed next to her. She slowly turned to the person on her right.

Dr. Matt Hunter, she should have known, the one person who could ruin her pity party. "Do you ever mind your own business?" she asked as she downed the shot of whatever it was that Coleman gave her and slammed the small glass on the bar. Coleman began to fill it up again but she waved him off, she had a feeling she might need to be sober for this one.

"No one really cares what kind of crappy day you've had today," Matt said slurring most of his words. Clearly he's been there for a while.

She narrowed her eyes, "Well excuse me, at least I don't mope around all day blaming myself for something I had no control over," she blurted out.

She struck a nerve, that last comment had silenced him. His head lowered and he stared down his beer. The events of that night were playing in his mind like a horror film.

Now she found herself trying to comfort him, "Matt, it was not your fault, you have to realize that."

"I should have waited for the x-ray," he muttered.

Maxie sighed, "You couldn't have predicted the guy had swallowed poisonous balls, I mean it's kind of ridiculous even saying it." At least focusing on his problem was distracting her from her own problems.

"You don't understand, good people are dead because of a mistake I made."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I trashed the friendship I had with my roommate, because I almost slept with her boyfriend. I thought I could show Spinelli how I was a terrible person, and if he was smart then he would just leave," she said hoping to get his mind off of what happened last week. Maxie looked over and saw that he had passed out with his head lying on the bar.

_Great_, she thought. Maxie flipped open her phone and dialed Robin's number.

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered.

" Robin, it's Maxie. Is Patrick there?"

"Maxie, it's eleven o'clock at night."

"I know, but your brother-in-law is passed out at Jakes and I was wondering if Patrick could come and pick him up."

"Matt's there?" Robin asked, sounding like she was still in the state between sleep and being awake. Maxie could hear Patrick saying something to Robin, but she couldn't make out what he said, "Are you okay to drive?"

"Yes, I only had one drink a couple hours ago, so I'll be able to drive home."

"That's good, so then could you drive him over to our house, and then we'll take care of him."

"I don't want him throwing up on my leather seats!" Maxie exclaimed, "Can't Patrick just come over here and pick him up? Matt is _his_ brother after all."

"Maxie, it would mean a lot if you did this, Patrick would most likely fall asleep at the wheel, he had a long shift at the hospital today."

"Fine, but you're paying for cleaning my car if he pukes."

Robin chuckled, "Of course Maxie, I'll see you in a little bit. Bye."

"Bye," Maxie flipped her phone shut and looked up at Coleman, "I'm going to need your help."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Coleman guided Matt to the car and Maxie unlocked it and opened the passenger door for him to climb in.

"Thanks Coleman," she said as she slammed the door shut.

"Not a problem darling. Just make sure my best customer gets home," he winked at her and went back into the bar.

Maxie got in her car and started the ignition. While she was pulling out of the parking lot she noticed Matt was conscious now and began moaning.

"I swear to God Matt Hunter, if you puke in my car, so help me, it'll be the last thing you ever do," she threatened as she rolled down his window so if he did in fact throw up, he could at least try and make it out the window.

"I'm not going to puke," Matt groaned.

"Somehow that doesn't convince me," she said glancing over at him every once in awhile to make sure that he kept his word.

Patrick and Robin's house was only a five-minute drive. Maxie pulled up into the driveway and put the car in park.

"I didn't throw up," Matt proudly stated.

"Yah, I know," Maxie said as she got of the car and then walked around the front to the passenger side. Matt had already stumbled out of the car.

"Hold on there cowboy," Maxie put her arm around his waist to support him and he rested his arm on her shoulders. Together they staggered to the porch.

"You know it would be a lot easier if you actually made an effort to walk," she said trying to support all his weight.

"I am," Matt protested.

"Well you could have fooled me."

They stopped at the front door and Maxie knocked quietly not wanting to wake up Emma. Maxie looked up. Matt was staring at her. He brushed his hand across her forehead to fix the strand of hair that had fallen in her face. She felt her face flush, she knew he was drunk, but the way he looked at her was like he was peering into her soul. She shifted uncomfortably.

"What?" she asked trying to act like it wasn't bothering her.

"Have I ever told you how pretty you look," he muttered as he leaned in to kiss her.

"You're drunk!" Maxie said as she pushed him back.

Just then the front door opened, _Thank God, _she thought while she shoved him inside.

"There's my little brother." Patrick said as he placed both hands on Matt's back and directed him to the couch. Robin and Patrick had made up the sofa for him to sleep.

"Patrick, what are you doing here?" Matt questioned.

"I live here bro," Patrick seemed amused by his brother's drunken state, "You need to lie down and get some rest."

"That's a good idea _bro_." He crawled under the blanket and rested his head on the pillow.

"Maxie, thank you for bringing him over here," whispered Patrick.

"It's not a problem," she said as she was walking to the door. "I just hope he's alright."

"He's in a slump," he said as he looked over at Matt, who had just hurled into the trashcan beside the couch, "But he'll get over it. Are you going back to your apartment?"

"I think I might stay at Mac's house tonight, I have a feeling that my apartment might be a hostile environment right now."

Patrick gave her a puzzled look.

"It's a long story. Tell Robin that I'll call her in the morning."

"I will," he promised, "Drive safe and thanks again."

************

Waking up in her old bed in her old room was a little strange. She moved out two months ago, but when Mac woke her up, it felt like she had never left.

"I'm making pancakes," Mac said trying to entice Maxie out of her bed. It worked, she missed how he used to cook her breakfast on the weekends. At her apartment, meals consisted of top ramen and anything microwavable, not necessarily the most appetizing cuisine. He was thrilled to have her back in his house, even if it was just for one night, it was getting lonely there all by himself.

"So tell me again why you and Lulu are fighting," Mac probed.

"It's nothing really, Lulu's just being a drama queen, _again_. I'm sure it will blow over soon," she said as she cut her stack of pancakes with her fork and shoved it in her mouth. She really didn't want to go into too much detail because she didn't want to give him another reason to be disappointed in her.

"You are welcome to stay here for as long as you need to, you know that," he smiled as he ate his breakfast.

It was nice to have breakfast with her dad, they caught up on what's happening with their lives. Mac had a new case that he was working on and told her that he was on the verge of solving it. Maxie told him all about the happenings at Crimson, and how she really enjoys working there even if Kate isn't the easiest person to work for.

" Maxie, you really don't know how proud I am of you. You have really grown up these past months," Mac beamed.

"Thanks Dad," she responded lowering her eyes. He probably wouldn't say that if he knew the real reason why she couldn't go back to her apartment.

Mac got up and kissed Maxie on top of her head, "Well, I've got to go down to the station. A police commissioner's work is never done."

"Dad," Mac turned around, "Thanks for breakfast, I've really missed this," Maxie said.

"Me too sweetie. We should do it more often," he smiled and he left the house.

***********

Matt woke up with a crick in his neck and a blistering headache. He sat up and looked at the trashcan below him, he had to use it several times during the night. The events of last night were still a little hazy.

"Good morning sunshine!" Patrick grinned. He handed Matt two aspirins and a glass of water. "So how are you feeling?"

"Like someone hit me in the head with a baseball bat," Matt said as he washed the two aspirins down with a sip of water. "How did I end up at your house, did you pick me up?"

"You don't remember?" Patrick was obviously having too much fun with this one.

"No I don't. And do you think you could talk a little quieter," Matt replied rubbing his throbbing forehead.

"Well let me refresh your memory bro," he said still grinning like a fool. "Around eleven o'clock last night you were brought here by a certain Maxie Jones."

Pieces from last night began to fall into place, Jake's, the car ride over, and…gulp… standing on the front porch.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**:

The coffee shop was always busy at this time in the morning. Maxie sat in the same corner Matt had been in yesterday. It was isolated from the rest of the tables; almost like it was tucked away and forgotten.

Maxie dialed Lulu's number and held the phone to her ear. It went straight to voicemail, no doubt she was ignoring Maxie's calls, again, "Hey Lulu, it's Maxie. I know I'm probably the last person you want to speak to right now, and I don't blame you, it's just I really need to talk to you about what happened. Please call me back, or don't, but I'm just going to keep on calling until you listen to me." Maxie flipped her phone shut and sighed. That was the sixth message she had left for Lulu today. It wasn't long ago that she didn't give a rat's ass about what Lulu thought of her, but now they had formed this bizarre bond, an unlikely friendship, and she did care, even if she hated to admit it.

"Trouble in paradise?" a familiar voice asked. She whipped her head around and saw Matt standing next to where she was sitting.

"Aww Matt, last time I saw you, you had your head stuck in a trashcan," she quipped, recalling the events of last night.

"About that," Matt said as he slid into the seat across from Maxie, "I want to thank you for taking me to Patrick's. And I also feel like I should apologize for anything I said or did that might have made you uncomfortable."

"Oh, it's not a problem, I'm just glad you didn't puke in my car," Maxie stated very nonchalant. She couldn't help but wonder if he remembered that he tried to kiss her, or he just assumed he was an ass while he was drunk.

"Me too, I have a feeling you would never let me forget it if I did," he joked.

"That's very true," she agreed as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm usually never let myself lose control like that, it's just that last night I hit rock bottom, and I thought that getting wasted would numb the pain," he disclosed. Matt didn't know why he was telling her this but he just had to say it out loud.

"Did it work?" Maxie asked.

"If anything it just intensified the pain," he said looking down at his coffee.

She didn't know how to respond. This was not the same, over confident doctor that she had encountered before. She knew how to deal with that Matt, just blow him off and crush his ego in the process. But this Matt was different; he was raw and afflicted.

Just then Spinelli and Winifred entered the coffee shop laughing. After the explosion at the hospital the two seemed to be attached at the hip. Maxie would be lying if she said it didn't bother her, especially since Winifred was the one who got Spinelli thrown in jail. He has a way of easily forgiving people, if only Lulu would follow his example. The funny thing is, it's what she had wanted, she wanted him to move on. Spinelli had obviously found a new object of desire, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"Fair Maximista," Spinelli squealed with delight then turned to Matt, "and Dr. Doom. What an unsought surprise." Matt just rolled his eyes.

"Spinelli," Maxie scolded. At that, Matt took this opportunity to take off.

"As much as I would love to stay here and chit-chat because I know the conversation will be just _riveting_, I've got to go," he turned to Maxie and flashed that million dollar Drake-smile, "We should do this again,"

"Sure," it was the only thing she could manage to say. _How can he do that_, she asked herself. Just a moment ago he was a tortured soul and now he's back to his usual presumptuous self. The mood swing boggled her mind.

He put his coat on and swaggered out of the coffee shop. Maxie decided Matt must have been putting on a show for Spinelli, and it was working. Spinelli was bewildered, he attempted to say something a couple times, but the words all came out like gibberish.

He finally got control of his emotions, "Please tell me that you aren't actually considering wasting your most precious time with such a vile and repulsive character that is Dr. Doom." Winifred came back with their drinks.

"He's not that repulsive Spinelli. And it would just be coffee, no big deal," she tried to calm him down. Besides, it's not like they set a date and time, so she could just pretend she didn't remember agreeing to do anything with him.

The three of them sat there finishing their drinks. Spinelli and Winifred were the only ones talking. Maxie caught something about the explosion at the hospital and Jason's name came up, but besides that she had tuned them out. She was too busy wondering if Matt would have left so soon if Spinelli hadn't shown up.

***********************

Maxie had to stop by the apartment to pick up some things. A part of her hoped that Lulu was there so that she could talk to her, but the other part just wanted to avoid her, she probably just needed space. She turned the key and opened the door.

"Hello? Lulu are you here?" she asked as she entered the entryway. Silence.

Okay, she would just grab her things and then go. Maxie walked into her room and straight to her closet. She grabbed the suitcases that were lying on the floor and set them on her bed. Maxie took her favorite outfits out of the closet and placed them in the suitcases. Once they were jammed pack with designer clothes, shoes, and accessories, she made her way to the bathroom and got her make-up bag.

Maxie realized that she was being a little immature about the whole thing, but a part of her still believed that Lulu seriously would try and kill her in her sleep. Well, maybe not, but it was always a possibility, it wasn't too long ago that Lulu was in Shady Brook.

As she was wheeling her things to the living room, she heard the front door open.

*********************************************************************************************

_Sorry this chapter is kind of short, but Chapter 4 will be longer._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

As the door opened, Maxie was prepared with the speech she was going to deliver to Lulu when she entered. But she would have to save it for another day; Johnny Zacchara emerged from the hallway.

"Johnny, what are you doing here?" Maxie asked, "Shouldn't you be at Lulu's feet right now groveling until she takes you back?"

"I just came by to see if she was here," he replied, "She's been ignoring all of my calls."

"Join the club, I think I left her like 20 messages. And do you know how embarrassing that is for me?" Maxie stated.

Johnny looked at her suitcases, "Are you moving out?"

"Only temporarily. I'm going to be staying at my dad's house until this mess gets all sorted out. But you need to convince Lulu to take you back"

"Don't worry Maxie, I have a plan," Johnny replied confidently.

"Oooh, a plan," Maxie said sarcastically shaking her hands in the air on either side of her face, "I just hope it works."

"It's a sure thing," he said. More confidence, this was definitely a big improvement from yesterday.

Maxie struggled getting out of the door with her two suitcases and toiletry bag. Johnny sat down on the couch and waited for Lulu to stop by.

He looked at his watch, only thirty minutes had passed, but it felt like it had been much longer. There was style no sign of Lulu, to pass the time he had been doodling on a pad of paper that was on the coffee table.

He heard the doorknob jiggle and saw the door swing open. Lulu was wearing a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, he couldn't help but notice how well they fit her, and a black leather motorcycle jacket. _Damn she looks fine_, he thought to himself. Her arms were full of different colored shopping bags. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Johnny standing in the living room.

"I'm going," she said as she turned around.

He walked over to her, "Please just hear me out," Johnny took all of the bags from her arms and together they walked to the couch. He set the bags on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch facing Lulu.

"Lulu I'm sorry," he said putting both his hands on top of Lulu's. She almost instantly pulled them away from his touch.

"I don't know if sorry is going to be enough this time," she said lowering her eyes, "I think we both knew where this relationship was headed after our fight."

"That was just one fight Lulu. I admit I was a complete ass that night and I'm sorry for that too," he said taking her hands back into his, "It's just really hard sometimes. I feel like I need to be this perfect guy for you and I always fall short."

Lulu just looked at him and didn't respond. He decided he'd talk some more, he didn't know how long he'd have before Lulu left so he was going to make the most of it.

"I made a mistake, a big one. And kissing Maxie," he saw Lulu cringe, " was just part of it. I honestly thought that you would be better off without me and that I would be able to walk away. But boy was I wrong. I will never be able to do that. Last night I was a complete wreck, my _**life**_ is a wreck without you."

"You should have thought of that be for you…you know," she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"I was angry and I hated the way we left things," he said, "I hated myself because I knew I could never be able to deserve you. I'm not a good guy Lulu, I know you like to think that I have no flaws, but the truth is I've lost count of how many I have."

"You're right. I'm sorry for believing in you Johnny Zaccharra! It's my fault that you turned to Maxie. I wish I never got in your stupid yellow car," she was getting upset. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"No, this is all coming out wrong," he was getting frustrated with himself, "I love you Lulu, please give me a second chance," Johnny pleaded.

She calmed down a bit, there was no denying that his man in front of her was truly sorry. "I don't know, I want to forgive you Johnny, I do, but I don't know when I'll be able to. It shouldn't be this hard to stay together."

"The best things in life come from working hard. Months from now, I don't want to wonder what if I had given everything I had and wish that I had put up a fight. We could slow things down. How 'bout I take you out to dinner? I mean when was the last time we actually had a real date. I could take you to that restaurant you love, or maybe even a movie," he asked, searching her eyes. She hadn't given up on him just yet, even though he had given her countless reasons to.

"I guess we could try it," Lulu replied.

"So it's a date then, tomorrow night I'll pick you up, say around five thirty?"

"Where are we going to go?" she wondered.

"That is a surprise," he grinned.

***********

"Peek-a-boo!" Maxie said covering her face with her hands then quickly moving them away revealing her face, "Peek-a-boo!" Emma smiled and giggled.

"Maxie, is that the only thing you know how to do?" Robin asked handing her a glass of Coke.

"No, but it's her favorite," she tickled Emma's tummy then followed Robin to the sofa. There were no traces of Matt Hunter's presence from last night, the blankets and pillows were gone, as was the trashcan,

"What do you think Emma's first word will be?" Maxie asked looking at the crib where Emma was.

"With Patrick's help it will either be race car or dump truck."

"Yea, that's not happening." Maxie said, "I'll make sure her first word is haute couture."

"Between you and Patrick Emma is going to be one well-rounded baby."

The both shared a laugh.

"I heard you're going to be staying with Mac for a little while," Robin managed to sneak in the conversation.

"Yeah, Lulu and I aren't exactly seeing eye-to-eye right now," Maxie said, she knew Robin was going to pry for more.

"And why is that?" she asked with her hand on her hip.

"Robin, I love you, but sometimes you are just so nosey!"

"It's only because I care," Robin responded.

"I think you should spend less time worrying about me and more time worrying about Patrick turning my only niece into a tomboy," she said motioning her hand to the pile of toy cars.

Robin chuckled, "Okay, I'll back off," she paused, "This time."

******

The church was full of the residents of Port Charles, most of them doctors. There were two large framed pictures of Leyla Mir and Andy Archer placed in front of the pulpit. Matt Hunter entered the church and quickly took a seat in the back. The soft, sad music had stopped and Nadine Crowell got up from the pew and stepped up to the pulpit.

"Nurse Leyla Mir and Dr. Andy Archer were two people who dedicated their lives to save other people. Each day they came into work they affected the lives of everyone around them. I know I speak for everyone at the hospital when I say their presence is truly missed." Nadine stated.

Matt had tuned out the rest of her speech; instead all of his focus was placed on the two photos at the front of the church. He couldn't help but think about the pain he had caused, not matter what anyone tried to tell him, he was directly responsible for their deaths. Before Leyla died he heard her tell Patrick that she had finally found happiness, she was newly engaged. Why does life have to be so unfair? He hadn't really known Andy too well, but they had bumped into each other several times at the hospital. These two people did not deserve to die. Matt closed his eyes and relived that night in the O.R.

"_Wait something's not right." The room begins to blur, he sees the faces of Leyla, Monica, Liz, and Andy. There is nothing he can do, he fights to keep consciousness, but loses. Everything faded to black; cold, dark, unforgiving black._

He felt a hand on his shoulder, Matt jumped. He looked up to see Patrick and Robin standing above him. The church was nearly empty.

"You doing alright Matt?" Patrick asked.

"Yah, I'm fine," he saw the concerned look on Patrick and Robin's faced, "Really, I am. No need to worry about me," he tried to assure them.

"Well, we are all headed to my Uncle Mac's house for dinner, you are welcome to join us." Robin said.

Before he could refuse Patrick said, "Now don't try to make any excuses as to why you can't come, we all know that you have nothing going on tonight. Unless that is you are going to hit up Jakes again."

"Fine, I'll go," he got out of the pew, "You know, you guys are really good at this ambushing thing," Matt joked.

"That's what family is for," Patrick grinned.


End file.
